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And nobody wins. The above point is frequently cited in an attempt to explain why so few bi and lesbian pairs exist. And while the sheer number of available partners may explain some aspect of why bi women partner more frequently with men, the heteronormative socialization described above is almost certainly as responsible, if not more so, for this phenomenon.

For instance, accusations of deceit are leveled at bi women as well as bi men, ostensibly insulting both groups equally: Bi women are actually straight, and bi men are actually gay. But note that while the claims appear to be opposite from one another, the underlying fears are the same: In both cases a given bisexual is sure to end up with a male partner, as our society dictates that sexual relationships are only viewed as legitimate when they involve at least one man.

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As a result one rarely hears these concerns echoed in the gay male community; why would a gay man ever fear losing his bi male partner to a woman? I have personally seen this in action several times, as many polyamorous men have been all too excited for me to date their wife or girlfriend, only to suddenly refuse when I disclose that I am transgender.

As a result, is it really so hard to see why some gay women might feel wary or reluctant to begin a relationship with a bisexual woman? Her eyes got wider than the saucer holding her cup of coffee.

Do you think I am? No person or group of people is entitled to the affections or intimate spaces of another, and nobody should be expected or even asked to expand their own boundaries solely for the sake of inclusivity. Are you implying that my worth is based on whether or not you have a chance of sleeping with me? What do my physical characteristics have to do with my sexual orientation? Do you like being straight? Jill Layton June 19, 8: Which one of you is the guy in the relationship?

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We are both girls. You look like sisters!

Have you always been a lesbian? Thank you, signed, sheltered, socially-awkward baby dyke.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I did, however, go to the mall, and got to flirt with all the cute, possibly gay salesgirls at Newbury Comics and Lush. So glad you guys are here for all of us now for all our complex questions. By all means folks, live dangerously.

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Thank you. I may actually go total nerd life on this and tackle 2 per week and give myself homework assignments in tandem with Masters of Sex Cure of course. Too specific? Is it okay to date one of your friends in your close four person friend group? Also, how long after said friend has broken up with long-term partner is it okay to ask friend out? Are ya looking introducing my trans lady love to friends and family for ciswomen or something of the like? No guide.

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Why is there no guide? Make guide happen someone. Have horrible anxiety 2.

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